Year 2026

Worry

Today I was supposed to do a lot more productive things but I ended up up spending a good 4 hours tidying up this website instead of actually working or studying. I actually am starting to feel a little nervous about all of the things I've been procrastinating on.

I feel depressed. I feel like I'm not going anywhere in life and that no matter how much I try, it's pointless in the end. I know I can't say that because it's not like I have even tried yet. I haven't even tried applying for jobs, I haven't even tried putting myself out there, I haven't really tried.

Sometimes I realise how ridiculous it is, but for the most part it all feels so real. I look at the kind of stuff I see online, that fresh grads aren't getting jobs, that junior developer jobs are dead. I feel so behind, I feel like I'll never catch up. AI is able to code better than I can. Hell, most developers aren't coding by hand anymore now, so why am I bothering to learn it?

I just really hope that my doomerism means nothing. I'll keep pressing forwards but I feel demoralised most of the time nowadays.